Four reasons to be a groupie

All’s quiet on the romance-research front. I’ve just started one of two new jobs and both are excessively populated by women. In one I find myself ghettoised into a corner, surrounded by girls who shop. They seem nice and certainly efficient, but sadly foreign. And certainly very female. However, there are alternative solutions to the man-drought than screwing the crew…. I hasten to add that this blog is unrelated to any *recent* activity on my part…..

I never used to “get” groupies – why enter into a completely lop-sided and exclusively physical arrangement with someone just because of what they do? But as time has passed I’ve had to acknowledge that lots of women, and frankly, men as well, are irresistibly drawn to a public expression of skill. Indeed I’ve been guilty of this myself on a number of occasions. So rather than get into a moralising or feminist argument against, I’ve started thinking about why.

I strongly suspect the cult of personality in which that elusive 15 minutes of fame are tantalisingly within almost-reach have contributed. You can’t have the fame but you can have the famous. Bonking someone with skills and talents that you will never possess is a way of owning those skills and talents, if only for a moment. And in a the context of a hyper-real universe (read “the internet”), stimulation seeking and flexible and self-invented identities are normal. When you’re a groupie you can try on someone else’s success and skill by proxy, just like you can be anyone you want to be in a chatroom.

In defence of casual sex with famous people it must be said that Paris Hilton is hardly a girl who deserves a discerning groupie. Back in the 70s when they were mostly female and orally or otherwise attached to the dicks of bands like Led Zep, groupies were drawn to skill at something new, exciting and avant garde. Simply being famous was not enough. So while being a groupie is a little like letting the whole world’s selfish gene vote on who’s got the best genetic material, it’s also a more discerning process involving taste for a particular (musical or other) aesthetic. And in a cyber-world, suddenly poets, journalists, and geeky film-makers who get on the next big wave can add their imprints to those of the girly- and not-so- musicians who never used to attract a smile either.

And yes, yes being a groupie is hardly a recommended activity for getting a long-term gig with a significant other. But this is all about the alternatives, isn’t it? Given that most people’s object of choice is unlikely to share their interests or perspectives it I say they’d be wise to take what they can get and leave the rest. Or just lie back and think of Cynthia ( - be aware this site features flying penises…. Or try

But for those with more refined or eclectic taste in achievement:

Richard Reeve

Kelly Pendergrast

John White

Renee-Louise Carafice


Hoa Phat said…
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