Monday, April 14, 2008

It ain't called a singles club for nothin'

Picture this:

Noon on Sunday. I, being a good little girly swot, am perched on the sofa trying to compose an intelligent analysis of the housing issue updated in this week's Listener. Cue a rattling at the lock and then - in bursts my absentee flatmate. Her long blonde hair is punked up from sleep, dark roots on show, and her eyes are hidden behind a cocaine-cool set of D&G rip-offs. She looks, in short, like a low-rent (but very cool) version of Princess Superstar. As Princess stumbles across the room wearing last night's outfit and exuding a miasma of booze she announces "I'm sooo hungover. AND I slept with Emma's flatmate. And I got my period and he was humiliated because there's blood all over his white sheets. God, I think I'm still drunk - my last drink was at 6am....maybe it's a good thing you didn't come out".

Lordy. Probably. Made me smile though. Vive la revolution.

6 comments:

Jill said...

Boys need to learn to get-the-fuck-over it. Vaginas are for making babies. If you can't deal with that, you shouldn't be near one.

stilltruckin said...

Well, anyone who's had some decent sex education should be able to deal with it, that's not everyone. Maybe his asshole parents pulled him out of sex ed ;)

But yeah, period-cowards need to man the fuck up. There is nothing embarassing about buying pads or tampons for your girlfriend. There is nothing weird about the monthly miscarriage. (in fact it should be kinda relieving that you haven't accidentally impregnated her. Moron.)

l_? said...

Maybe she mistook humiliation for horror over what she did to his 600 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets. I hope she did the polite thing and offered to put them through the wash.

Fellow commenters above: give the poor guy a break. Next time I'm over I might smear some poo around the place a bit. It's all natural too. Doesn't mean you have to appreciate sleeping in it...

Lyn said...

Look - in my view there's a lot of comedy in the whole situation. I'm not sure why the humiliation - maybe he was faced with evidence of certain acts, which in the cold light of day, were a little too much to handle. Who knows. But these things are all part of life's rich tapestry. If it had been me, I wouldn't have offered anything more than some advice about the best way to get the stains out. Under these kinds of situations the sex is surely worth the wash. And l_? I'm not alarmed by blood - poo is far more abject - so for me there's no comparison :)

stilltruckin said...

Oh, it's funny, but it's funny in the same way watching someone get hit in the crotch is funny- you're laughing at their misfortune. In this case it's the psychological one of not being able to deal with the fact that liking girls means dealing with a little blood now and then.

Lyn said...

Interestingly, evidence I've read would suggest that it's mostly girls who can't handle the jandal on period sex. Either way I've never understood the big deal to be honest. Maybe some healthy desensitisation will have occurred here.