Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Oh I've got a plan

Well the two of you who read this blog may be relieved or disappointed to know that there was no retaliative pranking after my last post. I certainly was. This post brings contemplations on the state of being single in Grey Lynn that have nothing to do with living with three men. But who knows what the future will bring??

According to recent reports in scar-mongering publications like TVNZ’s recent article on the man-drought in the 30-34 demographic thanks to able-bodied blokes fleeing a recessional New Zealand after finishing university in the mid-90s. The implication is that single 30-something women in urban areas are now in a disadvantageous position when looking for love (or whatever). However the man-drought is hardly news. At my late stage in single life (a creaking, disgruntled 30), anyone my own age without a partner usually has qualities that make them somewhat undesirable as an intimate companion. (Sadly I suppose that theoretically includes me as well - certainly those looking for a sugar-mummy should try elsewhere.) I’m not sure having a smaller pool of strange, hairy or impoverished men to choose from really makes much difference to the average single 30-something woman. There are a variety of work-arounds of course – go younger, older, foreign - mail-order perhaps – but the age-old problem remains. Why and how would you attach yourself permanently to someone who isn’t a total knob-end?

Now that everyone takes women’s independence for granted, why to attach oneself to a man has become a vexed question and open for much heated debate. While I’ve made some ghastly errors in judgement when it comes to (alcoholic, workaholic, mentally ill, irritatingly jealous) partners, I must say I’ve never really had the urge to marry them. In spite of the life-stage-retarded implications of living in the Grey Lynn Singles Club I rather like my whimsical life-style of random parties, chats on the deck and the ogling of hot-bodied men bought into the house by various flatmates. What compensations could possibly draw me towards a more mundane domestic existence with someone strange and hairy? Desire for children – check. Desire for stability and emotional connection – check. Late-onset maturity and wanting to be a “real woman” – not as yet. Financial security – I wish. Ditto regular sex of course but after reflecting on the ghastly errors in judgement detailed above, I’ve decided to live without in the meantime. There are a myriad of social, psychological and biological reasons for getting attached to a man - the zen of it really comes when contemplating the “how” which is where Carrie Bradshaw made her money and why the demographers are getting all excited about a reduced pool of 30-something men.

Obviously I’m not really in a position to offer advice on getting a guy, given my ghastly errors list. I don’t really get the dating scene in Auckland, having moved here (as all two of you know) from Southland via Dunedin. I’m taking this opportunity to announce, however, a series (we’ll see how long this goes) of VERY SERIOUS blogs on how to get some in Auckland. The research will be EXHAUSTIVE. If there’s a way I’ll find it. And you shall know all about it.

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